There be monsters here.

so.

we may have mentioned the "place in the country" or otherwise known as "the farm". When people ask what we are doing some random weekend, and we say we are going to our "farm" they often ask "oh, what do you grow".

Our "oh so comedic" answer has been "salamanders". Because, you know, comedy geniuseses... genuii... smarty pants.

There is no market for salamanders as far as we know, or to be honest, as far as we want to know.

Then we found "the beast".

yah, I know, the picture sucks. I had to use my cell phone, no flash. This involved some green beret maneuverings (well, less green beret, and more fuchsia beret with some squealing like a little girl) and holding a flashlight in my mouth while my nethers were in rather cold water... so there was shrinkage...normally the ruler... oh shut up.

This, we believe, is a pacific giant salamander. This is what the movie "Pacific Rim" was really about. Full disclosure. I have not yet seen "Pacific Rim," nor have I any insight as to the validity of any facts contained in this blog. Most can be considered on the left side of valid, so when we say "linoleum" it might actually be sheet vinyl, or it might be that weird process meat food that has peppercorns and cross sections of olives. (Does anyone actually use that as "food", and why am I using so many "" in this post"?")

GIANT FREAKING SALAMANDERS?!!???!

apparently the California giant Salamander, while slightly smaller than the pacific, actually BARKS!! not in a barking spider way that grandpas everywhere are fond of blaming, but in a "why the !#$! does the neighbour's dog/salamander not shut the @#$! up it is !@#$ o'clock in the morning/night!!!" way.

oh, and I think the little bastard stole our inner tubes.

bastard.