Sometimes it's all about the name...

Before you read further, well after a bit further, you should know what a chupacabra is, if not go ask your good friend google (and the NSA by proxy), we'll wait.

waiting...


So, many good stories begin with a simple message from the ether. This story also begins with a simple message, the two facts are not necessarily related.

I got a text from a friend (Destroyo, or Cuddles when he is in his mild mannered reporter persona).

"Phrodaux! There needs to be a dessert called Chupa Cobbler. Make it happen. The world is relying on you."

No sh!t, that was the message. Batman has his batsignal, Superman gave Jimmy his signal watch (in some places that means they are married now), and Catwoman has pissing on stuff. I have "There needs to be a dessert called Chupa Cobbler." The gears began turning, the Fairy Queen was alerted, we sprang into action.

{Sidebar 1 from Fairy Queen: NEVER idly dare Phrodaux to do something. He never ever ever walks away from a dare.}

Well, sprang like a week and a half later.

"it needs local fruit and biscuit topping!"

"it needs a Mexican spice/flavor palate!"

"it needs googly eyes!"

"it definitely needs TEETH!"

"you need to capitalize at the beginning of sentences!"

(That last one might have been added after the fact after the FQ saw me starting to write.)

So, Destroyo (Cuddles), M and "those from the north who know things of food and drink and have yet to let us know their code names" (who will be known as TFtNWKToFaDahYTLUKTCNs) were coming to the farm.

Food and drink.

and Chupa Cobbler...

...and more drink! 

In case any of you are brave enough to face your own personal Chupa Cobbler demons (come on, we dare you), here's the "recipe" (as it was kinda just "toss that in...what could possibly go wrong?").

Fruit:

• Peaches, blanched and skinned, then sliced, I think there were about six.

• A quart sized thing of cherries that I (Phrodaux) pitted by hand with a little knife, it was hard, I put love in them, but not in a icky way.

{Sidebar 2 from Fairy Queen: Is it too much to ask for any retail establishment in the vicinity of the farm to carry a cherry pitter??? Yes, apparently it is too much to ask.}

• Into the bowl of cherries (which life is, ooh, that was a bit icky) I put in a chopped up, seeded habanero pepper. They have a real nice spice, but even better a flowery/fruity flavor. They get a bad rap, but trust me I am "much better than Cats" (oh, go look it up already, it is a reference to TV it can't be that hard).

{Sidebar 3 from Fairy Queen: Unless you have hands of teflon/steel/scar tissue like Phrodaux, wear gloves when messing around with those habaneros. Please.}

• A pint or so of blackberries, picked while standing in our creek while dog beasts scarfed up the low-hanging ones.

And wait for it, wait... wait... almost... ("lady of spain" should be playing in the background as you wait, really)

• Raw corn taken in a brutish manner from the cob, or just cut off, your call, Mary. Sweet, and a bit of tooth, it is quite nice.

Mix those together, likely with nutmeg and cinnamon, some lemon zest, some lemon juice, some brown sugar.

That would be the fruit. You're halfway there.


Next comes the cobbler topping (use the voice used for monster truck rallies on Sunday when you say "COBBLER TOPPING!" with maybe a bit of echo "...ING...INg...Ing...ing":

Pretty much basic biscuit dough for any fruit cobbler, we used the one in Deborah Madison's Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone.

{Sidebar 4 from Fairy Queen: You should own this book, no matter what your eating designation (vegetarian, pescatarian, carnivore, weird phobic, etc.). It's the only cookbook we own two copies of, one for home, one for farm.}

BUT we added a little cornmeal (1/3 of the flour called for) AND a disk of Mexican chocolate, the kind you make really good Mexican hot chocolate out of, it is pretty much chocolate, sugar and cinnamon, oh and love, don't forget the love. The disk is ground up and added to the cobbler top before it is mixed together (too much mixing makes the love go away).

 (this is yummy, great for hot chocolate, but not for monkeys, NOT FOR MONKEYS!)

Mix gently and sparingly, but don't be creepy. Too much fondling and the topping will be tough. (trust me, blah, blah, blah, cats)

Dump the fruit mix in a lightly buttered dish (we use a corningware type thingy, roughly 10in, picture) then topping on top (where else would the topping go, jeeze). Put dish on a baking sheet to catch any fruit overflow.

(chupa cobbler goes here, the thing on the left, under the other thing)

Into the oven ~375f (despite the fact that all other good things in our life get cooked at 423f) until the top is done (a toothpick comes out clean and the filling is bubbly).

Then the most important part:

• Almond slivers for teethies
• Googly eyes.

The eyes came from "flying spaghetti monster cookies", which I saw on evilmadscientist

Empty gell caps used for making your own pills (really? making your own pills, who would do that? and even more important who would take one? oh, you have a headache? take one of these, I make them in my shed down by the old mill. They taste like burning, and love.")

 The consensus was "yummy". After a day or two, it still was yummy, but started to look rather disturbingly not dessert like. So eat quickly or don't worry about pretty.

(here is a picture of a cute dog for no apparent reason)

Sometimes it's about the name...Cuddles.