Nubie Part 2: And that's why Nubie is a very bad dog

Once upon a time, Phrodaux had a remarkable dog. I cannot write much about her here, because Pook (aka Ms. Bear) deserves a post or seven all her own. The remarkable thing relevant to this post, though, is that Pook ate EVERYTHING and never got sick.

Everything. Honest. Not just regular doggie bad stuff like chocolate (though one Christmas she got plenty of that) but weird stuff like raw rice, raw potatoes, olive oil, oil paint. Hot pepper from a can (she chewed through the can). This list goes on and on and on.

Nubie never met Pook; she left us in June of 2003 and Nubie came along that September. But the FQ believes that dogs somehow transmit knowledge over time. Pook's gift to Nubie, then, was this message: Food is EVERYWHERE. You just have to go get it.

So. A normal Friday night trip to the farm. FQ closes down her classroom soon after small people depart, heads for home. Phrodaux has the car packed up, pups are itching to go. We drive and drive and drive and finally stop at this nice place for tomatoes (more canning!), corn, apples, and a cantaloupe.

(Phrodaux here: don't forget the oh so cute farm stand girls and boys that work there, I believe they breed them there along with the organic produce and pods that they will someday replace our leaders with, end side note)

Produce gets wedged into the nooks and crannies of the car, as we are all packed up for a farm weekend and there isn't much room. The melon goes on the floor of the back seat.

Phrodaux resumes driving, but soon FQ smells something funny. Something sweet. Something...melony. She can't see what's happening exactly behind her, but she can wind her freakishly long arms around behind the seat to find this:

 "Pull over pull over pull over! Nubie ate the cantaloupe!" are the next words out of her mouth.

Ate the cantaloupe. Through the rind? Who does that??? Well, Nubie. And before him, Ms. Pook - who knocked a melon off the kitchen island and chewed through the rind. People would say, "Oh, your dog has food issues - why don't you put stuff up?" And our response was always: What stuff? Whose dogs eat cantaloupe?!?!?!

Clearly, Nubie does. And doesn't feel even slightly bad about it.

Phrodaux was no help. FQ was panicking over the ingestion of melon rind - honestly, that can't be good for anyone, right? - but Phrodaux laughed and laughed and laughed. Nubie? He just wanted us to drive faster. Hurry up and get there, mom. It's time for dinner.

 

(Phrodaux further side note: still laughing!)

doing unnatural things with gourds...

It is October.

month of leaves and moons changing color.

month of harvest.

month of bringing in plants late at night that we really shouldn't have purchased in the first place given where we live because it is going to freeze.

month of apples and people doing odd, semi-violent, and definitely unnatural things to innocent gourds.

I speak of that oh so magical wonderland located east of the city of bridges and beards, home of fall bearing fruit trees, aging yuppy windsurfers and best of all... wait for it...

PUMPKIN FUNLAND!!!

(nothin' says fun... or night terrors.. like a punkin' headed hipster or two...  check out the beards. Oh, and by the way, you have died of dysentery, sorry.)

so...

once a year, we drive up the gorge, we buy many pumpkins for the FQ's teachin' and ed-u-ca-dudication type stuff and apples, many, many apples.

If you don't know, there are more than "red", "yellow", "green", and "jolly rancher" (which are also green) types of apples.

And finally, finally, when the all-overs have subsided, we enter PUMPKIN FUNLAND!!!

Pick a theme: Iconic Movies, maybe. Or The Fifty States (capitals are important, as are capitols). Or maybe Presidents. Whatever. Then imagine that the farm elves who run PUMPKIN FUNLAND!!! created what you imagined out of random s###t they found in the attic, plus gourds. So many, many, squash like, gourd like things that become heads and feet and bodies, and creatures.

There are hand-lettered signs describing each vignette.

Sometimes they are misspelled, and they often cannot control their apostrophes.
(Note: it is NOTTTTTTTT apostrophe's because nothing belongs to the apostrophe!).

But that is part of the charm.

(this would be an arty picture, or an accident, let's go with art)

After PUMPKIN FUNLAND!!! we end up at a pub somewhere, eating average food and (Phrodaux) drinking average beer but enjoying the month that is October. Sometimes an old timey steam train would be a-chuggin' by, but that might be the beer. Everything smells like apples (or beer). And it's a whole year before we have to see The Wizard of Oz acted out in gourds (BEER!).

(ah, that pumpkin afterglow...)

(no matter how many times Phrodaux suggests it, he still is waiting for "Showgirls: The Movie" done in pumpkins, but the restraining order is a good sign.)