Monday, December 15, 2014

December, not October.

Damn the Gregorian calendar.

October is the tenth month of the year, octopus (octopi, octopuses, Octopussy starring Roger Moore, my second least favorite Bond, but Octopussy...nope, not that digression, not that sorta blog, see the entire rest of the intertubes) have 8 legs, squids have 10 (well, really 8 arms and 2 more tentacles , but not that sorta a quibbly blog) but the month is not Squidtober (that would be soooo cool) it is October. December (which really should have been called Squidtober, Xmas decorations would have a much cooler bent), not the 10th month, the twelfth.

(none of the other squid would let him play there squiddly games, ba-rump-pa-pu-pum)

so... (yep, did it). There once was a calendar, let's call it Romulus (or Roman, but I like trek better than wars...and really a Remus calendar?... I'll never make that internet search mistake again...), there were 10 pictures of cute cats, 10 pictures of sloths getting baths, maybe one or two with pretty much nekid girls using their oh-so-augmented secondary sex traits to make men who fix things buy tires and tools (I've been to many places that sell tires and tools and have seen nary a thong, THANK ALL THE POWERS THAT BE THAT I HAVE NOT SEEN NARY A THONG AT/ON THOSE, ew). Did I digress? thoughts of thongs and Bond girls...hmm Moneypenny...) Romulus. Romulus pretty much started in March. March the time when a young man's thoughts turn to green chicks selling monster truck tires and spud wrenches.


(...or no.)



...so basically, f-you January and February (except the one day that Fairy Queen was birthded, feel free to send prezzies now, there is time).

(yah, I know, we both thought it was June and July, but that is another post, stay tuned for another exciting adventure of "Calendar wars: Julian vs. Gregorian, a rumble in the early modern ages until 1929!" ok, not that catchy, but think of it coming from a wrestling AAAaaa-NOUnnnn-CERRrrrr surrounded by scantily clad car mechanics holding up signs with "Ianuarius" and "Sextilis" among others...





(now we are a talkin'...)