We do something, then we thinks, does this happen to us this often and not happen to others?
(usually the sane answer is "yes, just you and the voices in your head")
FQ: We're not nitwits, honest. We start down a path and it seems like a good idea and it turns out to be a good idea but somewhere in the middle we think: WTF??? We are tear gassing ourselves here.
Exhibit A: Homegrown Horseradish Sauce (picture Phrodaux in snorkeling mask & goggles, FQ hiding upstairs) (Phrodaux: I was watching "Star wars: ep 1 the racist diaries" at the same time, so not all the fault of horseradish)
Exhibit B: 2 pounds of chilies (grown on the farm), frizzled in the food dryer, then ground into magic powder AT THE SAME TIME and IN THE SAME KITCHEN AS the FQ cooking dinner. Dogs hiding, humans crying and sneezing and gasping for air.
... but on the plus side ENDORPHINS!!! Did you know the same chemicals that are responsible for "runner's high" you can get from hot chilies? Capsaicin is an amazing thing. It is an irritant to mammals (or yummy depending on who you are) but birds don't get the whole pain receptor misfire thing. One might think "weird" but one would be wrong (stupid and foolish one, all the other numbers, real, imaginary [i] and even the irrational numbers are laughing at you). Birds eat chilies, then poop out the seeds.
while on the other hand artificial grape flavor is used as a bird repellent, as it has much the same effect on fowl as chili does on us...
beware my purple Popsicle...
...speaking of which... duck penises (penii?) twist counterclockwise and can be as long as the duck's body vs. duck vaginas (vagii?) that twist clockwise and have multiple dead ends for misdirection... go look it up, it's true, and there is more (beware that particular rabbit hole of exploration, which can twist both counterclockwise or clockwise much like the topic) weirder than the artifical grape thing. Birds are f-ing weird.
(trust me this is the picture that should be here... there are worse)
...and as a grammatical side note (as you know your oh so humble Phrodaux is all about the grammaticaling) the plural of "chili" can be "chilis", "chiles", "chillies" or "chilies". Now you know, and knowing is half to five eighths of the battle, yo.
